Random thoughts today:
- We're nearing the sixth month mark of Reese's birth/death which means (among other things), that we could (under doctor's recommendation) begin to start trying again.
- Just the mere thought of getting pregnant again is making me anxious and I've started doing a lot of unproductive thinking again - centered around "what happened" and "what if it happens again."
- God bless my husband who seems to know exactly what to say and at exactly the right time:
- Last night: "Nothing you could have done would have changed what happened. Nothing you did changed what happened. God had a plan and you had no control over it. It was always meant to be."
- Today: "We have so much to be happy about. We are so blessed. We don't have anything to complain about really. Let's not live like that - in this depression. Let's make a decision on whether or not we want to try again, be excited about it either way and be happy every day."
- I love him.
- I'm thinking of getting a tattoo on my arm of this: "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 - to remind myself that it is not about me and I am not in control. I seem to easily forget both of these things. Okay, so I probably won't really get a tattoo because I know someone who did and now has MRSA. Maybe I'll just use a permanent pen on myself each morning.
- This Saturday we attend our second adoption agency intro session. Even if we do start trying "the old fashioned way," I feel strongly that we are being called to adopt. I am praying that we find the right agency, we have enough funds, and that God leads us in the right direction to our child(ren).
- This scripture has been on my heart today. Especially when I think of all of the children who have been abandoned, abused, neglected or otherwise just without the love they deserve on Earth:
"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:16-19
Hope you had a blessed and peaceful day.
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3 comments:
Your Sharpie tattoo made me laugh.
I'm thinking of our babies...almost 6 months.
Love and miss you MB!
Wish I had some advice but all I can do is cheer you on. Go get yourself another baby, girl!
It's a very tough decision, to try again or not. I like the idea of putting it in God's hands, and if/when it is meant to happen, it will. I know it's scary and it's kind of a risk - what if something goes wrong? But - what in life is NOT a risk. Imagine the moment if everything does go right? I hope that you are able to come to the decision that is the right one for both of you. Good luck! You will be awesome adoptive parents :)
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