Monday, July 25, 2011

11 Months: A Big Blessing in a Tiny Package

Riley: "Mom – you need to wear shoes so you can be a superhero with me ... Here – I got you your superhero shoes."
Me: "Really? These look my like flip flops."
Riley: "That’s ok. You can call them your superhero shoes." 
This month's prayer:

Dear Lord,

I have to remind myself on most days that you never promised me anything other than your love and salvation. It is so easy to forget.

You never promised me a family that would provide me with unconditional comfort, care and support. You never promised me that I'd be healthy and without disease, illness or handicaps. You never promised me that I'd have the capacity, resources or ability to get an education. You never promised me that I would be able to keep a steady job that would help me provide for my family and keep us in a safe and warm home, access to basic resources like water, food, clothing and luxury resources like transportation, recreation and hobbies. You never promised me a husband who would be kind, devoted, loving and supportive. You never promised me a three year old who would delight me beyond words and teach me a whole new reason for living. Yet you have given me all of this and so much more. 

...And you gave me 38 weeks with Reese. Such a big blessing in such a tiny package.

Thank you for gracing me with her life. Thank you for choosing me as her mother. I am on my knees thanking you for this gift of love in a tiny package. I miss her beyond words but because you have told me that you and your plans are beyond my understanding, I choose to lean on you with all my faith and trust.

With your love and grace unending, I am not without ... as I am so easily prone to forgetting. I ask for your divine help in focusing less on the temporary and more on the eternal so that I can be a blessing for others while on this earth.  

For you have given me so much - including the Promise that I will be with Reese again someday and we will never then be apart. And when I think of this, I smile with joy because my heart is full! This is a gift for which I will be forever grateful.
"From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another." John 1:16 (NLT)


mom said...

And you continue to bless all of us with your wonderful insights. Putting the words of your heart down in print and sharing your love of God with us through this journey of Reese. To truly see her death as a victory and not a defeat as one could so easily have felt it to be if seen only as a painful and sad loss to be endured. I am learning so much from you honey. Thank you!

Addi's mom said...

Sorry I didn't comment yesterday. Thinking of you and Reese on this 11 month mark. <3

Dad said...

A lovely post, Sweetie! As many times over my life as I have sung that hymn, I had never thought of visualizing the animals of the African savannah.

I of course couldn't have the precious closeness with Reese that you had for those 38 weeks. But somehow I think she has a way of being very present in my life even today. Though the uniqueness of her personality remains, as a kind of promised mystery, I always see what surely must be a glimpse of her in you, another in Roger, and--how could it be otherwise--her undeniable trace in sweet Riley. You are right. She was a tiny package, but a big gift!

Hugs and love always,

Sarah Erwin said...

You are a blessing through and through in my life. I thank God every day for your friendship as we walk this road so closely together.
You are thought of and loved. Sweet to know the powerful glory she lives in.

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