- My sweet Riley Elizabeth turned three yesterday. Wow - how did that happen. But as I was telling Roger the other day, it feels like she was born almost 30 years ago instead of 3. I feel like we've lived a lifetime in-between her birth and today. I wish that weren't the case. I wish I could remember her birth without any hint of any sadness. Without any "yeah but" in the back of my mind. It's as another friend wrote in her blog once ... I can't think of babies and births now without thinking of Reese and death. I hate that. I hate that this sadness, this emotion, has forever changed the innocence and pure joy I felt with Riley's birth. But on the flipside, I am also grateful, in that it has made me appreciate it even more. Sadness magnifies joy. She's my miracle baby. (Although, she was not the most well behaved kiddo at her party, but that's another story for another day).
|Her "pre-party" pose - sporting a brand new scrape on her face from a fall earlier that morning. And what is it with kids and chapstick?|
- We finally made the appointment with the high-risk OBGYN this week. Talk about rollercoaster. We waited for probably an hour and a half and I almost lost it in the waiting room at least two or three times. It's amazing how I think I have control over the "triggers," only to find out each time that I don't. However, when we finally did see the doctor, it was surprisingly a very positive experience. But we do have to wait at least until August now (to start trying) under her recommendation (c-section recovery). Instead of depressing me, it actually gave me a huge sense of relief. That surprised me. I guess I really wasn't ready.
- I am really, really enjoying getting to know God again. I'd venture to say that I'm even hungry for it. Insatiable actually. What a great feeling. Maybe there really is something to a Crazy Love for God. I'm reading a lot, listening (podcasts) to a lot, praying a lot. Too much to go into here - but lots of good post ideas. Just need to find time to write them all down. I feel like I've woken up from a 34 years of sleep. Was that part of the Plan?
- As I sat (multitasking) tonight, I noticed something about my Facebook friends. Most (not all) who are actively passionate about a charitable organization or in some way giving back to others, are moms who have lost babies. Isn't it amazing how God uses our suffering to bring hope and joy to others? I love that.
- Looking forward to the Antioch adoption banquet on Saturday night! I am so happy to be supporting this organization. Fun, friends, food and ...what's an f word for giving orphans a chance. I wanted to be creative but can't think of anything. But you get the point. Many thanks to my parents who have agreed, yet again, to be Riley's default "sitters." Riley is so lucky to have Gran Gran and Gappy.
- Was I crazy signing up for the Mercer Island Half Marathon on the 20th? Completely.insane. I'm totally unprepared. Thank goodness for my sweet running buddy Erin who has agreed to run/walk/whatever the route with me! Should be fun no matter how long it takes us - which could ... um ... be awhile.
- Trip booked to Arizona at the end of the month to visit my sister! Even though, after the last trip, I swore I'd never travel with Riley alone again, I'm super excited about it. Maybe its the call of the sun that has me in denial about traveling with a toddler but I'm counting down the days...and hoping I can squeeze in a trip to San Diego that week to visit beautiful Bridget and Tamberly!!
- For some reason, a variety of scriptures and hymns keep popping up in my head this week. Today, it was "To God Be the Glory" and I thought - wow, what a great name for a new blog. Anyway, that's how I will end it tonight and what I will title this post. Hope you're all having a peaceful week...